In An Instant

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with a shutter my body becomes alive
my soul stirs, aware once more
lifted from a dreaming trance
when distractions are torn
before I am hit with the reality of you
your presence is next to me
for a fraction of a moment my bitterness
is veiled in sweet memory
for one blissful instant
I lay transfixed
meeting the intensity of your gaze
then you dissolve in front of my eyes
with the invading day
I live for that suspension
teetering between sleep and wake
like it was before
before you left me in your wake
that capsized the world
left me alone and lost
in that present I want you back
no matter what the cost
I want to be wrapped in your arms
in heat and weight of your body, lost
in that one instant, everyday
when I forget there is no body
just a void resting on the sheets
where you once laid
figure worshiped, praised
reminder of love
for one instant everyday
I suffer the pain of loss
all over again
and I am trapped in the thought
of how love was when…
my eyes focus
your memory leaves this place
I stand on my own
left in a haze
with the day I must face
I have to teach myself to breathe
all over again
I thought the lesson would get easier
begin life again
outside that instant, everyday

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