What I Need

what I need

I’m sitting inside myself
inside a shell that’s left
watching you push
pushing what’s left
watching you push
until I finally give
watching me give
just so you can live
live the way you want
you obviously have control
until one day I’m missing
the life that you stole
walk away now
while I know I still love you
don’t use up my days
until the day that I hate you
god give me strength
to love me enough
to end this now
before the going
really gets tough
and I’m lost somewhere
inside of you
consumed by your thirst
of love for yourself
unable to put me first
I deserve more than that
and won’t wait for you to learn
love and trust aren’t just given
they have to be earned
maybe it’s true
you just don’t know how
but hasn’t life taught you that by now
I have needs too that need to be met
I’m only sorry you haven’t
figured that out yet
what I need is compromise
I can’t do all the work
just to have things be turned
so I become the jerk
I want love, trust, a future
eventually marry
not count the times
I’ll believe or accept
I’m sorry
I know what does not kill me
only makes me stronger
but by now I’m strong enough
and I won’t do this any longer
I can’t lower my standards
so they can be met
and I know I can still forgive
but don’t ask me to forget
you promised me eden
and love to the end
but that’s what you promised last time
when you said it wouldn’t happen again
now we’re all the way back to the beginning
still unheard, I’m tired of reiterating
trusting these flags, and seeing the trends
although I still love you
this would be beginning
has to, this time, be the end


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